Are you at that point in your life where you feel like you need to change things for yourself, but are not able to gather the courage to do so? Do you feel like you need to change your circumstances, your career, your life goals or something else, but are stuck in a vicious cycle of double-mindedness?
If your answer to the above questions is yes, this is the article for you. Following are some mental and practical tips you can apply to change your situation.
Get out of your comfort zone
There is a strong difference between wanting to change your life and actually deciding to change your life. The moment you commit and decide is the moment where there is no more room for excuses and plan B’s. When someone comes out of their comfort zone, they will surely be extremely uncomfortable at first, but that’s when breakthroughs happen. That’s where growth and progress happens.
When something makes you want to scream and run in the other direction because you’re so scared, that’s the stuff that you need to do, because that’s the stuff that’s actually going to move the needle in your life. It’s like working out, for example. If you’re not feeling sore the next day, you’re not really working out. Are you really making that massive change that you need to get that ideal body? The same type of principle applies in doing other scary or difficult things. These are the things that are going to lead you to the biggest breakthroughs that you’ll have in your life. And these are the things that are going to lead you to massive change.
Hence, the moment you feel discomfort, instead of being so scared by it, try to treat it as something that is kind of like a signal. Take it as a signal that you’re growing. It’s a signal that something that’s scary is going to change your life. People who succeed in bringing about a change in their lives are the ones who learn how to be okay with that discomfort.
Don’t plan or think too much before you execute
Next thing that we so often do is we plan too much or overthink. We already visualize the end result, and because we’re planning and planning and planning, we actually don’t do anything. What you need to know is that no matter how much you plan, you need to get into the game to discover it for real. Whether or not you think something’s going to happen, you’ll never know until you actually do it and find out. If you never really take the action, you’re never going to change your situation. Of course it’s going to be super uncomfortable, because you’re going to be put in a position where you don’t know what exactly you’re doing. But if you don’t actually jump in and do the act of doing, then you’re never going to be closer to your goals or on that path that you desire for yourself.
There’s a lot of beauty in chasing the unknown and doing things that you’re uncomfortable with. There’s a lot of beauty of having these big scary, hairy goals to chase after. A wise man illustrated this really well, who said that facing big scary goals is like running down a very long corridor. And as you’re running down this corridor, you’re going to look to your sides and see a bunch of other doors. These doors represent people you’ll be meeting as you’re running down this corridor. They represent the breakthroughs that you’ll have. They represent the mistakes that you made that will turn into huge lessons for your life. And they also represent you discovering more about yourself. So by doing the scary things and chasing a goal that you want to achieve, you force yourself to jump into the process. At the end of the day, it’s the journey that truly matters, but in order for you to reap the benefits of that journey, you need to start, and you need to accept that there will be scary things along the way.
Embrace your thoughts but don’t believe in them
But I totally get it. At this point, you’re probably thinking it’s easier said than done. You may feel you are not good enough. You may feel you are not financially ready enough, or not confident enough. But do you think that when Steve Jobs launched his first product ever, he didn’t feel scared about what the market would say? Do you think when J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 publishers for Harry Potter, she didn’t feel the same way? Do you really think that anyone whom you look up to doesn’t feel the things that you’re feeling? Aren’t they scared to take the leap? Of course they are. Everyone has these thoughts. These thoughts that you have in your mind right now that you’re scared of are not unique to you. You are not special for having these thoughts. You are not the exception.
What really separates someone you look up to versus someone who doesn’t do anything about their life is their ability to be able to listen to those thoughts, but not believe them. So many people end up marrying limitation to the point where they tell themselves this sad story. They keep telling themselves that they’re scared, until their brain really starts believing it. What will actually make you special and differentiate you is for you to not believe these common thoughts that everyone has. That’s what’s really going to set you apart from a decent life to a great life where you are proud of yourself for fighting your fears, and doing the scary stuff that you can be closer to achieving your dream and your goals.